I just finished a very long and very stressful phone interview with a newspaper in Alberta that might actually want to hire me! Holy fuck!
I think it went well.
I’m gonna go buy a bottle of wine and try not to obsess over this to the point of giving myself a heart attack/stroke/ulcer. Yay!
Once, when I was younger, maybe 19 - I was still living with my parents and I still had my red, Chrysler sedan.
One night I got in the car and starting driving West on the highway. I had no reason to be going anywhere and I had no place to be going to, I just went West. And that’s weird because there isn’t much of anything except a half hour of empty forest and then Perth. And then after that about 4 more hours of forest until you hit the GTA. Unless, you turn North, but then there is just an even bigger forest that I don’t actually know what’s on the other side. I mean, I know of places that are out there but I’ve only ever seen them in pixelated web images and shitty postcards.
Anyway, the point is I’m a stupid teenager driving a red car straight into oblivion for no good reason.
I drove for what seemed like a long time. Realistically it was only a couple of hours at the most, but at the time it felt pretty monumental. I pulled an arbitrary right hand turn onto a small road that went up a large hill into the bush and then turned to gravel. The road curved into a little village, I can’t remember the name, the gravel turned to dirt and the dirt path ended at some farmer’s field.
I sat on the hood of the car, I smoked some pot and looked at the stars. They stretched out to infinity and filled my view from one corner of the frame to the other. Maybe that’s why I drove out to the middle of nothing, just to get a decent look at the stars.
The point that I’m trying to make here is this: My biggest regret in life is that I turned around and went back home that night.
I was on the precipice of enlightenment and I bitched out.